My Online Identity and the Dreaded Facebook Account.

I deactivated my Facebook about six months ago with the intention of getting it back at some point.  Now that I don't have it, I think back and laugh at myself about how much I relied on my online identity to define who I was in real life.

Facebook Photo

When I deleted my account, I had over 800 friends.  Why? I have no idea.  When I was in high school, I thought that having an enormous number of Facebook friends made me "cool" in some way.  Even though, when I would look at other people's Facebook pages and they had anywhere over 200 friends, I would immediately think "wow, that person must have no friends in real life".  And then I started to wonder - is that what people think about me?  But I only realized that after I deactivated my Facebook.  So, I suppose I thought I could increase my so called "popularity" in real life by increasing my online identity's "popularity".  I came to this realization when I noticed that, without Facebook, I didn't really talk to very many people.  I realized that my online identity on Facebook was not representative of my real self.  When I reactivate my Facebook, I have every intention of deleting those that I have on my friends list for no apparent reason.

Another issue that I have encountered with Facebook and my online identity has to do with the infamous "relationship status".  I had my first boyfriend when I was 15.  I couldn't wait to put it on Facebook and show the world what I had accomplished! Then we broke up shortly after and I couldn't wait to show the world (and my ex boyfriend) how fast I could get over him! So, I entered into a new relationship way too quickly just to have my status on Facebook read "in a relationship".  Seeing as the breakup had been incredibly bitter, there was no chance that I was going to let my relationship status go back to single this time.  I was going to show my ex who was the boss.  Then, I stayed in an unhappy relationship for three and a half years and just ended it 6 months ago.  Eventually, it wasn't the love of the relationship status that caused me to stay in the relationship anymore; it was the fear of what people would say or do over Facebook if they found out that we broke up.  My online identity had shown people for three and a half years that I was unavailable and happy as ever; and that would all change if I removed the relationship status.

So, the first thing that I did after I broke up with him was to take my relationship status off of Facebook and immediately deactivate my account to avoid the comments from others (pathetic, I know).  I couldn't bear the thought of having over 800 people realize that I was now single, and wonder what on earth had happened.  I realized that most of the people who I was connected with through my online Facebook identity were not really interested in me, but were interested in the drama.

So, that leads me to my current dilemma.  I recently entered into a new relationship, and am wanting my Facebook back.  Not because I want the put the relationship status back on, but because I feel like other people have probably gotten over the fact that we broke up.  However, I know that if I get my Facebook back, I will likely put my relationship status back up.  Again, my online identity will include me being in a relationship rather than me being single.  I realized that as soon as I entered a new relationship I was automatically okay with having my Facebook back, when during my single months I was completely against it.  I wonder if the only thing I feared was having my online identity change; because now that it will say "in a relationship" again, I am perfectly willing to get it back.

It is interesting to think about how an online identity can shape a person's life.  I spent three and a half years of my life in a relationship that I was unhappy in, all to preserve my online identity.  Some people may consider it sad that I allowed the internet to control my life (as do I), but I firmly believe that this will be the way of the future generations as well.

Rob Ford ... Enough Said.

We all know what's going on with the mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford.  It started in May with the release of a video that supposedly showed Ford smoking crack cocaine.  Ford outright denied that he had ever used crack cocaine and essentially claimed the video was bogus.  But, several months later, he admits that it was in fact true; he used crack cocaine.  But it doesn't stop there! He also admitted to purchasing illegal drugs during one of his terms as Mayor.  Now, there are allegations of him partying with prostitutes, referring to taxi drivers by racial slurs, and driving while intoxicated.  And we thought the cat was out of the bag after all of that ... we were wrong.

Rob Ford Cartoon

As of today, there is another allegation against Mayor Rob Ford. As a Calgary Metro news article explains, he supposedly had oral sex with a former staff member, and made lewd comments about doing so.  

The real controversy that exists is whether Mayor Rob Ford should step down from his position.  I've heard people say that they believe that what he does in his spare time should be completely separate from his job ... but is that even possible?  That's like asking us to ignore the fact that Chris Brown beat up Rihanna simply because he is a famous artist.

Many people believe that once you step into a position of authority and are in the public eye, you have basically signed a contract agreeing that whatever you do can and likely will, become public knowledge.  I personally think that the public should not have to ignore what the person who is supposed to be in charge of their city is doing.  If he is constantly impaired through drugs and/or alcohol, then are the decisions that he is making for the city really the best ones?

This leads to my next question: should mayor Ford step down?  The article explains that many people say yes, even those that are personally and professionally close to him.  Up until today's allegations, most people that were close to Ford were saying that he should be able to keep his job as mayor; but many now believe that he has crossed the line.  With so many allegations coming to the surface since the original release of the video showing Ford smoking crack, one can only speculate that more allegations will come to the surface; possibly being even more detrimental than the ones that have already arisen.  Perhaps he should just cut his losses, and step down before it gets even worse for him.

Also in the article, Ford mentions that the new allegations are disrespectful to his wife and his family.  So to not step down, in my opinion, would be selfish on his part.  Even if these allegations are not true, the bottom line is that they can and likely will negatively impact his family regardless of their validity or credibility.

It will be interesting to see what is next in store for the followers of the Rob Ford controversy...